My blog is just getting started, but I have a lot to share as this evolves, so please bear with me as you begin to learn about me. The day before Valentine's Day 2016, my husband of nearly 10 years, a man I loved so deeply and thought was my best friend, told me he didn't love me, was miserable in our marriage, and wanted a divorce. Since that devastating day, I have experienced unimaginable heartache, shed countless buckets of tears, and gained a shocking amount of weight. But then as I began to emerge, I found a strength and determination in me that I never knew existed.
How do you come out on the other side of an earth shattering divorce a stronger and better person? A lot of praying. A lot of self-reflection. An incredibly tight circle of friends who love and support and encourage you. Boundaries so high that no unwanted guest may enter despite those pests incessantly and often times aggressively knocking at your door. And a boatload of emotional oils.
The sense of smell is the only way to activate the limbic system, the emotional center of your brain. This is why an elusive smell may instantly trigger memories from your childhood. Emotions are also held in various organs in the body. Grief in the lungs. Anger in the liver. Bitterness in the gallbladder. Anxiety in the digestive system and lungs. Breathing in essential oils and/or applying them topically to where you feel drawn to apply can help to release those stored emotions and bring you back to a state of balance. I say that stored negative emotions are worse than a bacterial or viral infection because the emotions bounce around the body like a pinball causing incredible amounts of stress and physical wear and tear, which is very aging.
My natural state is overwhelmingly joy-filled and loving. So as the negative emotions poured out of me and literally left my body, I returned to my natural state. It is a process with high's and low's, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. And as one layer of trauma or grief is cleared, another deeper one emerges that needs to be addressed and removed. One must learn to honor and respect this process. My heart had been shattered; it felt like it was torn into two with ragged edges, stomped on without regard, and oozing out thick viscous blood - a bit graphic, but that was my visceral feeling and the physical pain I experienced was all too real.
As the emotions left, I was shocked at how fast my heart healed and how the weight started to melt away. It felt like God parted the clouds and said, "Stacey, my child, you have been through so much. You are now healed." And my angels held me and comforted me and patched my heart up using the Kintsugi method. Kintsugi is the centuries-old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a special lacquer dusted with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Beautiful seams of gold glint in the cracks of ceramic ware, giving a unique appearance to the piece. My heart is fragile, yet strong, and I am beyond blessed that it is being taken care of in a way I never knew possible. Blessings abound.